Top 10 Reasons I'm Not Very Likely to Meet the Love of My Life in the Near to Immediate Future

1.) I spent my Saturday night watching He's Just Not That Into You in my Twilight pajamas, curled up in fetal position on a gay man's couch.

2.)I spend the majority of my time listening to Miley Cyrus, The Jonas Brothers, and Selena Gomez. And most of that time, I really enjoy it.

3.) I hang out primarily with the following demographics: gay men, kindergarteners, infants, moms, and Vanessa.

4.)My most frequent pasttimes include: playing Barbies, reading aloud, pretending to be a princess, polishing little fingernails, and giving glitter stars (and hearts).

5.) I workout more than anyone I know, but NOTHING IS HAPPENING.

6.) It has been so long since I needed to feel remotely sexy undressed that I have added white Granny panties to my underwear rotation.

7.) My grad program is comprised almost entirely of older, married individuals. Oh, and gay men and the occaisional bookish spinster type.

8.) My roommate is a gorgeous, exotic looking vegan who entrances any straight male who falls into our path (or our apartment) without even trying.

9.) My best friend is a questionable looking gay man who passes for straight more often than gay. We probably look like a couple. I should make him gay himself out a little more.

10.) I am BASHFUL. I have kind of forgotten how to flirt and when any reasonably attractive straight male shows any glimmer of interest in me, I am immediately reduced to blushing and stumbling over my words like I was 16 and had never kissed a boy.