Thank You

In half an hour, it will be June 3. Just another regular, ordinary day. No pomp. No circumstance. For the first time in quite some time. Days go by when I barely think about you. It's hard to remember the sound of your voice, easier to forget the way your nose crinkles when you laugh. I've spent most of the past 6 months thinking ill of you. Today, I can't. I can't help but remember a time, long long ago and not all that far away before high school ended and we ever thought about leaving Beavercreek and you were dating her and I was seeing him and all you were was my sometimes a little too irritating melodramatic best friend that occaisionally made your way into the fringes of my dreams. I don't miss your moods or your messes or your temper or eating macaroni and cheese at every meal, but I do miss that time before. The us before us. Thank you for being my friend then and then so much more after. Things may have ended not so well and you may not be the person I thought you were or hoped you'd be, but I do have much to thank you for, more than you will probably ever know or care to understand. Thank you for loving me when you did, and subsequently, for showing me in your absence and abandonment that I am capable of going it alone, for teaching me that it's me that has to rebuild me and that people can hurt you more than you ever knew they were capable of. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to grow and pushing me to fluourish without you, which I am. Which is why this is just another, ordinary day. But today, I will celebrate this day without you, for me for once, for making it this far and for having courage to continue onward. And for reasons that no one else has to understand, I will think only kind thoughts for you today and wish you well, and hope that if you note the day and I wander into your mind, that you would find it somewhere in the bottom of your kind of dark and rather twisty heart to do the same for me.

Love,
me