Reasons I May Be the Queen of Self Sabatoge

1.) In spite of knowing certain things will instantly turn me into a puddle, like listening to my Jason Robert Brown Pandora station or thinking too much about the week's secrets from Post Secret, I do them anyway, without regard to the little screaming voice in my head desperately warning me to make better choices.

2.) I am a great communicator. I text. I call. I email. I document. I write. However, when it comes to times when this skill is really necessary, I'm really good at doing everything except responding to the letter from my grandmother on the counter or calling back the woman from that theatre company I was supposed to volunteer for or remembering to mail the store keys back to my former employer.

3.) In moments of perfect clarity, when I actually figure out that there is the potential for perfection in some given random situation, rather than pursuing with passion and putting up a fight, I find that I falter and step down silently, letting the moment slip by unnoticed and leaving nothing but some faint glitter of fleeting possibility.

4.) Clumsy. I think this appears in so many of my lists because it seriously is just one of the most crucial and true things about my entire being. I am just so clumsy. Both physically and thoughtfully. I trip when I get distracted by something shiny, both literally and metaphorically, most of the time making me seem like possibly the least put together human being you have ever ever met. (Although, to my credit, that damsel in distress thing has worked more times than I'd really care to admit...)

5.) I giggle. A lot. Like at really inappropriate times. About almost anything. Seriously. Inopportune.

6.) I play dumb. I'm not very good at owning up to my intelligence. Someone told me that people aren't into smart girls once, so I frequently, compulsively smile and nod and agree-with-everything-that-is-dripping-from-your-possibly-pretentious-possibly-wrong thoughts instead of showing off that I have several functional brain cells.