Reasons I am Seriously Reconsidering my Lifelong Rejection of Southern Belledom

For years, I refused to tell people that I grew up in Alabama. I took voice lessons to rid myself of my accent, Midwesternified everything about my appearance, my life, even took to rooting for Ohio sports teams (Really? Ew.) But recently, as I've come to know myself a little better, I've found that my heart beats as a Southern Belle; some of that gentility instilled by my mother is there. So, why try to fight it anymore? It seems being a Southern Belle has its benefits :)

1. People love a drawl. They will listen to you coo and prattle on about anything when you elongate your ahs and add in extra syllables all over the place. Men get starry-eyed, women just smile more kindly. And people just want to listen to you talk, and I like to talk an awful lot.


2. Beef tips. Sweet potato pie. Cheddar Jalapeno Cornbread. Petit Fours. Chocolate chip pound cake. Shrimp and grits. My arsenal of southern comfort food is packed with delights of all varieties. Delicious; the kind of food that wins men and friends from the inside out with the kinds of emotional responses it draws out. Southern belles know how to make food that makes you feel, and if you've ever had my cornbread, you know I understand wholeheartedly this principle.


3. Who doesn't look good in a blonde frosted stacked bob? Ok, ok, not everyone south of the Mason-Dixon really rocks one of these, but many do with grace. And the ones that don't, spend a good deal of time painstakingly perfecting the way they present themselves. Lipstick to the grocery store, gym shoes matched to gym bag. Sundress with no sweat spots in 110 degree heat with 90% humidity. Always ready to impress.


4. Hot rollers. Yankee women do not know their way around a set of hot rollers (unless you had a serious showchoir upbringing) the way that Southern Belles do. And who doesn't like spraying the shaft to achieve bounciness?


5. Kindness. There is something about smiling at everyone and moving slowly that breeds a certain kindness, where hellos greet everyone and people gather on porches for mint juleps (Yes, that really happens, my yankee friends). Maybe it's because the skies are incredibly blue and the people in the South don't know a windchill of negative 27, but there is something that makes them kinder, their lives a little more idyllic.


6. People are constantly pleasantly surprised when intelligence and quick-wittedness accompany Southern-ness. I like surprises; don't you?

So, I think I'm going to embrace this long lineage of Southern heritage and fully take on this role of Southern Belle. I'll make my mother and Scarlette O'Hara proud :)

Reasons I Just Couldn't Be Happier, Simply Couldn't Be Happier

1. THE TEST IS OVER. I have been dreading this test since I applied to the non-thesis based MAE program at DePaul in January of 2009. While I was still working at TBC. Before I was even accepted to the program. Clearly, this dread has blossomed over the past few months as I prepared to take it and has been a break-into-hives-have-bad-dreams-occupy-your-every-thought-don't-want-to-eat-manic-can't-sleep-horrible kind of stress. But I took it Saturday, and I honestly feel pretty good about it. I'd even venture to say it went pretty well. Now. Let's just hope the review committee agrees...


2. I went out without a jacket today. Glorious. Hello, April warmth.


3. I met this guy. He's pretty cool and went so far out of his way to make sure that they superterriblenogoodverybad week leading up to my test was bearable with dinners and Disney movies and pep talks all week. Because he's pretty rad like that. I think maybe I'll see about keeping him around because, honestly, I'm a little over the moon about the whole thing (If you met him, you'd be like...Duh. Of course you are.)


4. For Christmas, Brian promised to take me to High Tea at The Peninsula. We finally were able to make out schedules line up tonight and go and it was just so wonderful. Vanilla bean black tea. Tiny sandwiches. Scones. Hazelnut and chocolate pralines. A view of a garden, feeling so fancy, looking so fine. Having careful heart to hearts as we stir honey in with tiny spoons. Perfect fanciful Brian/Ashley time.


5. I saw Belle this week. She is growing up so beautifully and I love to see the very kind little person she's becoming and hope that in some very tiny way, I had a hand in that.


6. I have many new Spring dresses, Spring shoes, Spring bags. Bring on the warm. Bring on the pretty.


7. So many people made it a point to wish me luck on the test, check in to see how it went, even follow up with flowers. It is so wonderful to have people that love you and support you to the degree that the people in my life do. I couldn't ask for anyone better to materialize.


8. DID I MENTION I AM ALMOST DONE WITH GRAD SCHOOL???


9. Blackberry Cheesecake Cupcake and a Jumbo Dog with ketchup, brown mustard, and relish. Win.

Reasons I Could Definitely Be a Femme Fatale

Someone told me last night that I was NOT MYSTERIOUS enough to be a femma fatale. I, however, disagree. For the following reasons, I could clearly make the cut to be one of those kinds of women. Duh.

1. Chanel 75. What kind of mysterious-type lady leaves the house without her kickass signature red lipstick on her lips to leave lovely lipstick stains on the rim of the very dry martini in her hand and on the lips of her lovers? I will default to the red that is Chanel 75 for this.


2. Trench Coat and Large Sunglasses. When traveling incognito, these key pieces are extremely useful to easily escape from bad guys and making sure they *horror of horrors* don't recognize you. Coincidentally, these staples are also really useful for surviving Spring in the windy city with its flaky gale to showers to sun pattern.


3. Mystery. I'm totally full of secrets. For sure. And I definitely don't wear my heart on my sleeve. Ever.


4. Persuasive. Femme Fatales know how to get what they want. Usually with just an icy cold stare. I can glare, I can flutter my eyelashes, I can flip my hair. And, typically, outcomes are just as I'd hoped they'd be.


5. Smart. Even Brian says I'm almost too clever for a woman. Cleverness always pays off when you are trying to outwit bad guys and make good guys fall at your feet. So, I hear.


6. Adventurous. I am certainly adventurous in my pursuits; I even have a little taste for danger, a big taste for the unknown. I'd definitely be willing to flee to far off corners of the world to perfect my femme-fatale-ing, wreaking havoc, breaking hearts all along the way.


7. Dark. Dark hair, dark eyes. A boiling white hot sea of rage underneath layers of sacchrin sweetness. Yeah, I could be dark and twisty if I wanted to be. Duh.


8. I'm well read in the nature of bombshells and femme fatales. Research is always the biggest part of the battle, right? Game. Set. Match.

Thanks Belle and Bradin

Dearest Belle and Bradin,

Thanks for being so adorable. Thanks for getting along, understanding, and being two of the coolest little kids I know. You stomped me in Wii Cow Racing, I'll admit, but didn't gloat too much. Positive. I also really enjoyed our very deep discussion about Star Wars and the pros of Bling Strands. I really love spending Saturday night sleepovers with you guys <3

Love,
me

Thanks Rachel

Dear Rachel,

Thanks for excellent pizza late last night. And for navigating us to Hyde Park via a bus I'd never ridden before. Also for being pretty awesome and having a few pretty awesome friends to be...awesome with. I dig it, even though I've only known you for like two weeks. BFFs :)

Love,
me

Reasons I Am Suffering from Spring Fever

1.) Were you here for the blizzaster that was the month of February? In so many more ways than just the weather. Oy.

2.) Sunshine. Sunshine Sunshine. It makes me want to do cartwheels and lay on the beach and twirl down busy streets and gather flowers that will make me sneeze. And just be outside. In the sunshine.

3.) Thunderstorms make me really antsy. So does the nervousness of anticipating that one could be right around the corner. That's kind of feverish, right? It's ok. I don't mind bunkering down in blankets and hiding myself in music and books until it's pretty enough outside to go splash in the puddles.

4.) My hopeless romantic heart. There is something so beautiful in sunshine and kisses in the warm, rain and sharing an umbrella with a stranger and going to the park/zoo/famer's market to stroll, hand in hand. It's the little things that make me fall in love with love a little more. And I know I mention it every single time the season changes. But seriously. Warm weather makes people over the moon for that silly love stuff. And I'm totally one of them. Even willing to throw caution to the wind and say yes and let this cold,cold heart feel things it wasn't really interested in feeling, being all independent and set it its ways like it is.

5.) Oncoming warmth and greenness after Winter's cold icy grey stare for months and months is just the biggest sigh of relief that the universe gives us all year long. Even if it is accompanied with thunderstorms. And I know that this winter has made me lose my mind a little. Good riddance.

6.) Farmer's Market. Fruits and vegetables are so much better from the farmer's market and it returns in all of its glory with the sunshine and springtime and such. Therefore, you can acquire the fixings for all kinds of new cooking adventures.

7.) Bikes! My bike is in desperate need of attention and repair. But once it's fixed, I'm totally riding it everywhere.

8.) Spring marks the start of training for the marathon for me, a huge deal. It's a life goal, a committment to something huge and hard that I will definitely not be exceptional at. And we all know that I struggle at things I'm not so hot at. But I will persevere. And I will finish that race in October. Promise.

9.) I'd like to spend my days being in starry-eyed awe of the glorious city I live in and the beautiful people in my life and the possibilities of love and adventure and life life life breathed into every step, corner, trip on the red line in Spring time. Kisses and whispers and sunsets on the beach and whatnot.

10.) Spring also marks the end of grad school, marks a huge victory, marks looking much more exciting on paper than I generally feel. <3

11.) Galoshes. Galoshes, light scarves, jackets. Lace, pastels, off white shoes. Soft, pretty pink lipstick and shimmery eyeshadow. Spring is pretty, light, easy in its fashion. I feel for that. Just not the florals.

12.) A few promising things that have me all a-smile. In several different spheres of my life.

13.)
Let's do this, Springtime.

A Collection of Some Advice I've Received in the Past year or so...

When you are lost, seeking direction, trying to cling to dreams and caffiene, the people that know you best always have words of wisdom to try to get you to some semblance of happy, normal, restored. Tough love, words of wisdom, simple advice, bossiness. Little things to help you turn obstacles into popcicles. Right? I have received a good deal of advice in my wandering of the past year and some of it was really sound. Most of it was really sound. Some of it was funny. Some of it was conflicting. Some I took, some I most assuredly didn't. But it seemed that it should be collected and shared. If nothing else, in celebration of needing advice about things that are way more fun and exciting than advice needed previously :)

On What You Want to Be When You Grow Up:
~You won't have to give glitter stars forever.
~You don't have to know what you want out of forever; just today.
~You are special and different in a million and one ways than every other cute brunette applying to any given job on any given day.
~Update your resume every 2 months.
~Never lose track of an important contact.
~Always make an important opportunity work, even if it means working 7 days a week and being a no fun pouty face.

On dating:
~Don't wear the red lipstick. It makes it look like you are only thinking about one thing.
~Don't wear the red lipstick. It makes you seem standoffish.
~Don't wear the red lipstick. Then you can't kiss him goodnight.
~Sit across from him, not next to him.
~Slight cleavage on the first date.
~Wear the red lipstick. It's totally your thing.
~If he wants to find you, he'll find you.
~You should really try to like someone for the right reasons for once.
~DON'T SALT YOUR OWN GAME.

On life:
~Pot. Kettle. Black. Fuck You.
~Always remember to spray the shaft.
~The only thing you can really use is your fingers; don't try to use something else to make that happen.
~Add a splash of coke to your gin and tonic. Old bar trick.
~Everyone likes a girl that can tie a cherry stem in a knot with her tongue.
~If it's wet and not yours, don't touch it.
~Cupcakes make people happy.
~Kill with Kindness.
~Drink water.
~Sometimes the nestthing to do is to just go home to your mother.
~Do not under any circumstances, be that girl.
~Finish your homework. But don't neglect fun.
~Don't do anything you'd be ashamed to tell your mother.
~Faith. Trust. Pixie Dust.
~Serendipity has you.
~Sometimes a step at a time is too much. Sometimes you just need to take it a breath at a time.
~Always say thank you. For everything.
~What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
~Do what makes you happy. If that'a dancing around to Taylor Swift and baking copious amounts of cupcakes, so be it.
On Running:
~Listen to good music and don't let your feet stop moving.
~Let go of whatever's bothering you by the end of mile 1, little by little, step by step.

On Love:
~The fairy tale is there somewhere. You just have to stop looking for it.
~Time takes time.
~Figure out yourself. Then you can worry about figuring out someone else.
~Yeah, not going for it because there might be someone better sounds like the easiest way to end up alone.
~You're too pretty to be that girl.

Perhaps the best of all:
~Be unashamedly and unabashedly yourself. Always.

To coming closer to the last one (red lipstick and all) than ever before. Cheers.