When I moved to the city and started this blog, one of my very first posts was about the rain. Putting on my galoshes and taking my umbrella and just walking around. I still remember that day really vividly; I hadn't started work yet and it was the first time I got kind of lost on my own. I had to text Vanessa to get directions back home from Canal and Harrison, half a mile away. But that rain. It was magical. I wanted to splash in every puddle and dance on light posts and twirl with my umbrella as every single cold drop of fall rain came splattering down onto the pavement.
It's been 5 years this month since the week I moved here, a pretty big anniversary for me I'd say and one I honestly haven't reflected on that much because I've been so busy doing everything else. I think in reflection, we often focus on how we've changed. How much money we've made. How many times our hearts have broken. How much weight we've gained or lost. And that was where my reflection started. How am I different than I was 5 years ago? I'm happier. I'm roughly the same size. I'm not trying to hide vegetables in the meals I'm preparing for my dining mates and I haven't looked at a box of Aldi macaroni in years. I've grown up and I do my own taxes and tie my own sandals and everything.
And then, last week, I took Casey, who I've known for almost 18 years, to introduce her to someone at the shul where I babysit and she was going to be sitting and then I headed downtown to search for a present for Mollie's birthday. And while I was walking to the bus, it started to rain. Slowly, then harder, so I reached for my umbrella. It was still raining when I got off the bus. Cold drops of fall rain gently reminding me that October is almost here and that it's time to fall desperately in love with this city all over again. And probably dye my hair red. I splashed in the puddles. I did a little twirl with my umbrella. And it hit me that maybe what it so important about this anniversary is that in spite of heartbreak and struggle and achievement, the rain splashing everyone scurrying down Michigan Avenue to get out of it was still magical. And the people I love are the people I've always loved with a few new faces and they have been inspiring me and encouraging me to be true to me and be better. And I am. These situations, these opportunities, these people; the last five years were impossible sometimes but here I am. I'm certainly different than I was, but I think the person I am today would make that wide-eyed girl lost half a mile away from home proud to know that she followed a dream and her heart and that even when the going is a little tough, her heart didn't cave or turn tail and run. And she'd be happy to know that splashing in the puddles is still high on the priority list.
I'm still in love with you Chicago; here's to the next 5.
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